Politics of toddlers

S turned 3 in March and in my unbiased, completely objective opinion, she's way smarter than the average 3 year old. You do realize that close to 75% of people think they are above average, so 25% of them are wrong. I assure you that I am not the 1 among my 3 peers who has an error in judgment.

But enough about me; let's talk about my smart daughter who has benefited from my genes. (Please note that I did not say smart genes, just that my daughter is smart and there is a 50-50 chance that I had something to do with it). OK. Now that we have that out of the way, I can continue with my story. [yeesh]

S knows about "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" and all the stuff that would make Judith Martin proud. Her smartness comes in at using these words to get what she wants from her at-first-unsuspecting-and now-totally-on-to-her parents. So at first you ask your child to say please when she wants something. Then you give that thing to her. "Please, can I watch some TV? " "OK. Since you asked nicely..." So she learns the power of using the right words and parents act like they've been sucker-punched when these words come back to bite them.

"Please, can I watch some TV? Please?" Now the 2nd use of the magic word is the first hint that your child has gone for the nuclear option. She wants that Curious George and she's not messing around with a single please. These smaller version of yourselves are quite smart (although mine is smarter than the average, especially from the offspring of Mr&Mrs 25% over there) and know what to do.

We constantly get bombarded with words-as-weapons; the "please" cluster bomb is the most deadly, frustrating one of all. And there is no reprieve. There is no Osama bunker in our UES apartment to which we can escape. No Viet-cong tunnel with booby trapped entrance conveniently situated in our bedroom. No escape hatch to whisk us off the Death Star while Luke Skywalker (Jr.) has dropped the smart bomb.

So what do we do? We go on walks, alone, by ourselves, without kids (One at a time of-course). Or we go out for a drink with a friend. Or go to the movies by ourselves.

And what do we do during these self-imposed exiles? Think about all the wonderful things that these mini-me's have done that enrich our lives, make us smile, and make us want more of them. The latter only happens after a loooong walk -- I'm talking 5-7 miles, not a stroll around the Jackie O. -- and perhaps a few pints of lager.