The procedure

I'm in the elevator with Dr. Resident. "Busy day?", I say. "Everyday is a busy day", he says with a smile. Quick trip, the doors open and we walk out onto the 3rd floor. We go through the doors and there's the pre/post-op area. There's a gurney right there next to the nurses' station. Your table, sir.

I hop on and Dr. Resident confirms all the information. You might think it would be annoying, but I'm actually glad that everyone is confirming the procedure and the side. Right knee arthroscopy. No I have not had anything to eat or drink. No medications. The gurney is enclosed by curtains and I'm asked to take off the top gown. He exposes my knee and marks it and puts his initials on there. Nice. I tell him to call MLW as soon as I'm out. That she's a physician and will get worried if too much time passes and nobody has called. He says Gladstone will call.

Then the anesthesiologist slips into our cocoon and he's also a resident. Any crowns, caps? No. Then the nurse shows up and introduces himself. It's getting a little crowded around my bed and I feel like a presidential candidate being mobbed by reporters. What's your economic policy regarding NAFTA? Are you allergic to anything? How would you address the sub-prime problem? Any prior surgeries?

Then Gladstone walks in, takes a look at the knee and orders the nurse to shave it. I ask him to call MLW as soon as I'm out of surgery to let her know. He writes the numbers on the leg of his scrubs. I remind him that she's a physician and will get worried. He gives me a non-committal ok and leaves the cocoon. By this time, the nurse is already half done shaving my knee. It looks naked.

Resident 1 leaves with him and resident 2's boss shows up and asks the same set of questions. He then leaves, so I'm there resident 2 and his job is to start the IV. He puts the tourniquet on my arm and pokes my arm. He misses, but plays it cool. He even tries to hook up the IV and then try to move the needle back and forth. Luckily for me, he decides to abort and go for the back of the hand. I got better veins there anyway.

Resident 1 shows up and says that he's going to wheel me into the OR. If he ever decides to give up this orthopedic surgery gig, he'll be a great cab driver. This guy was whizzing through the hallways and making left and right turns with the gurney as if he was riding a scooter. He almost took out a doctor who was standing a little too far outside a doorway. All the while the anesthesiologist is running behind us with his bag o' goodies.

We went quite far. I think it was all the way to 5th Ave, the very last room down the long hallway. Once we got there he collected my IV stuff and we walked in. Of course the room was not ready so resident 1 volunteered to help. They locked the table and had me lay down on it. Resident 2 went to work on setting up his magic and resident 1 started drawing on my knee and explaining what he was doing to a medical student to whom I was not introduced. They put the oxygen mask on my face and resident 2 told me to take deep breaths.

They exposed my leg and removed the non-skid hospital sock from my right (and correct) foot. I asked resident 1 how long the procedure would last and was told 20-30 minutes. He then grabbed a BIG-ASS needle from the table. My eyes must have given me away because the medical student motioned to resident 1. He looked at me and from under the oxygen mask I said "That's a big-ass needle." "Oops. I should really hide this from patients, but we don't use it until you're totally under."

I then felt cold and wet on the back of my hand where the IV was. I asked resident 2 if I was supposed to feel cold where the IV was and he said, "Yes. That's the medication."

That's the last thing I remember from the OR.